“I don’t like when my mom comes back from office,” said a 4 years old girl. When I asked her the reason behind it, she replied with “then I have to go home!”
Where her mom was trying to spend maximum time with her daughter, the girl wasn’t happy!
Every day we recall and recite “our children need our presence more than our present” and so we all try to spend maximum time with our kids, but It’s not presence if your mind is occupied with hundreds of other things. That presence is equivalent to your absence.
We all want to do our best but we must understand our limitations as well. There is no meaning of spending time with your kids if you are tired or cranky because at the end it is not worth.
“Spend quality time with your kids instead of quantity time,” state experts but do we really know what the quality time exactly is?
Stay at home moms spend most of their times around the kids while working moms prefer to spend their whole weekends around the kids but does that really count? Fathers are always available between evening 9 to morning 9 but can it be considered as a quality time?
No, because most of the times we spend our time around the kids not with the kids! Yes, there is a huge difference between around the kids and with the kids but most of us don’t even realize it. Around the kids means to stay nearby and take care of kids while with the kids means you are engaged with your kids both physically and mentally.
In garden or play area, if you are talking to your friends and your kids are playing nearby with their friends is around the kids not with the kids. Though fresh air is good for both, it is an individual activity not parent-kid time.
Your kids playing nearby while you finish your household chores is around the kids not with the kids.
In short, anytime that you spend with your kids physically counts on around the kids not with the kids if you aren’t mentally present or actively participating in the task or play.
Well, now you know what is around the kids and that’s surely not quality time and so here I am showing you How to spend quality time with your kids to strengthen your bond with your kids:
- Offer your kids fresh morning and soothing night by spending 10 mins on bed with them. Avoid to call good night from living room and good morning from the kitchen.
- Tell tales instead of stories or television. Your stories are yours, it has unique personalized touch. You shouldn’t be an expert in storytelling to cherish childhood (your own or your kids’) memories, right?
- Sing lullaby instead of music player. Music is music but its more soothing when you listen it from your love ones. One or two songs every night is more than enough for you and your kids to put all the worries behind.
- Plan at least one meal together in a day. Hot meals are important but family is more important. Talk to your kids, learn about their days and indirectly guide them to cope up with their day to day challenges.
- Who doesn’t need exercise? Skip the gym and go for cycling with them, do some jumping and have fun with racing with them and see how healthy that can be for you and your kids. Even 5 mins yoga or chanting mantras with your kids can improve your bonding with them.
- Play instead of watching them. We always prefer to send our kids to sports club but do you know “the best way to increase kids’ interest in sports is playing with them?” They might enjoy their favourite sport but they will surely enjoy whatever you play.
- Join in 15mins activity with your kids. Choose any board games or some family games and enjoy the time with your kids. you never know when this 15 mins will fulfil your absence of entire day.
- Invite your kids to join you. Every time securing “time for kids only” seems little tough and so best way is to include them in whatever you do. Call your best helper in your house hold chores or invite them to separate your office papers. Every single task can turn into fun when you are with your kids. All you need is little patience.
- Enjoy kids’ night. Plan a kids’ movie in your home theatre once or twice in a month, play some family games and/or simply utilize the leisure time with your kids and their books.
- Choose picnic over trip. Kids are happy when they are free to explore the world by their own. When we plan trip, we are more focused on covering every place instead of relaxing and enjoying holidays. As a result, we end up managing kids instead of enjoying togetherness. The best thing about picnic is, for that you don’t even need a perfect place. Your kids would love even your backyard for the picnic.