What if all the flowers smell same

Couple of months ago, I saw a video of 4 years old, who was able to identify all

Couple of months ago, I saw a video of 4 years old, who was able to identify all the cities and states of her country on the map and here is my daughter who got just average marks in Olympiad GK. As an every other parent I too got worried by my expectations and started teaching her GK (General Knowledge) for few days too!!! When I got normal I understood and accepted that my kid is not interested in GK much!!!

We as parents see the requirements, we see other kids, we see other parents and we see ourselves too but the only thing which we don’t see is our kids.

Our concept is simple. I was playing chess at the age of 8 so my kid has to learn it, my kids’ friends are joining abacus so it becomes compulsory for her, Her cousin won first prize in drawing competition so she must join drawing class now, Sania Nehwal won bronze medal in badminton, Olympics that means there is big scope in badminton and I have to enroll my kid in badminton and so on. We accept it or not but we are really confuse and so we neglect our kids’ interest and capabilities of exploring the world. We want them to learn and do all the things which other kids are doing and refuse to focus on our kids’ uniqueness.

Take a pause and think what if all the flowers smell same, will the fragrance of rose make any difference? We value rose for its beauty, we value lotus for its
different look and we value jasmine for its beautiful fragrance. When we can appreciate all the flowers for its uniqueness then why not our kids??

We forget that we must set our kids free and let them sail the sea if they want to, without expecting them to fly just because all others are flying.

Gk, Hindi or chess might not be my daughter’s cup of tea but music is. And I couldn’t have seen it if I have focused on all other classes which other kids have joined in. I too have wasted her time and energy on abacus to teach her Maths or dancing class where she could have learned few steps really well but could not have enjoyed it.

Of course we need to push them to learn but push for the right thing is also important. As I always say knowing is everything but here knowing our kid is
more important.

Comparison kills our kids’ uniqueness. When we compare our kids, we force them to do the things which others are doing or important for us but actually most important thing is our kids’ happiness. Even if we will be successful making them genius, they won’t be successful if they won’t be happy.

By comparing we doubt in our kids’ ability and that will reflect later in their personality. Jittery, jealous, timid or people pleaser are the one which we can turn
our kids into by comparing them.

Recently I had conversation with one of the 12 th graders and while talking about his future plan he simply mentioned that “I will leave it on my parents because all the decisions I took so far were wrong.” Shocking right? I mean seriously how many decisions can a 12 th grader take in first 17 years of his life which can really affect his future? And here he already believed that he is not capable of taking any more decisions when he is exactly at the age to take his own decisions freely. I am sure you don’t want to see this in your kids.

So ask yourself these questions before you make any decision for your kids 1.Is it for my kids’ happiness? 2. Am I trying to convert her/him into something to satisfy my expectations? 3. Am I copying the world intentionally or unintentionally?

Mostly we can see the interest of our kids around the age of 5 to 8. We just need to pay enough attention to get the idea of their strength and weaknesses. If you are still confuse, use advance technology which shows where exactly your kids need push and where you need to set them free. Brain-Key, a product of Migroupe is one of these techniques which give you exact idea of your kids’ brain. They not only tell you the strength and weaknesses of your kids but also provides parent counseling for the same. And thus you can push your kids little to extend their strength and work on their weaknesses to make their future bright and happy.

We must know that we don’t need copy of anyone; we just need to bring out individuals’ uniqueness. Your kid is your kid, different in many ways and unique in some ways and similar in certain ways. Let them bloom at their own pace and time.

Megha Patel

Parenting Expert Writer / Blogger
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